Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results

I’m in dutch with the wife.

After spending more hours and dollars than might be considered wise on getting my most recent maritime project up and running, I did what any normal member of the schizophrenic community would do and purchased another boat over the weekend. Same year and model as the other one but with a flybridge,  and in quite a bit better cosmetic condition. Somehow, in the clear light of this Monday morning, I find myself in possession of one boat that looks bad and runs good, one that runs bad but looks good, and a very pissed off spouse.

If anyone has any tips on how I can convince her that this decision was arrived at through a logical and reasonable weighing of cost vs benefit, I’d sure appreciate it as sleeping on the couch is wrecking my back.


28 responses to “Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results

  1. Oh, that’s easy. Just show her your “toilet seat rant” from these pages, I’m sure that will make things much more pleasant (lively). <bseg>

  2. Seriously though, that’s an awesome place to own a boat that runs good, no matter how it looks.

  3. I just did what I had to do, and looked up bseg. NOW I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!

    Oh, Mark, you were looking for help. Sorry, pal.

  4. Too bad Washington’s community property status extends only to houses and not boats. If you couldn’t buy a boat without your wife’s signature, you wouldn’t have gotten yourself in this pickle–

  5. Thanks for your help guys. C,mon…bro’s before ho’s.

  6. Ply her with woo and wine, then give her a great orgasm.

  7. She’s kind of a “what have you done for me lately” gal Daphne.
    I’m all for your plan and intend on implementing it, I just think I’d still be on the couch afterward.

  8. You bought it for spare parts.

  9. “C,mon…bro’s before ho’s…..”

    Nope. In this case there’s nothing to be done for you. You are screwed, blued and tattooed. The only thing a sane man can do is to get outside of the radius of the blast.

    Remember: “The blast does not travel at the speed of light, but the light from the blast does.”

    Too bad. You were a nice guy. It was fun to have known you.

  10. Cue the Gilligan’s Island music. Just show her the “bro’s before ho’s” comment and I’m sure you’d be begging for a couch to sleep on, and probably it’ll be at one of your bro’s places.

  11. I,m going to ignore your advice Rita. With all due respect.

    I like where you are going leelu, but to her a boat’s a boat’s a boat. Whether or not it’s for parts is irrelevant. I bought it without the required pre-purchase groveling and must pay the price.

    I’m afraid that Gerard is probably correct here. I have a feeling he speaks from experience. I’ll don some dark glasses and maybe spend a couple of nights on the boat.

  12. Chicken! So at least answer this question for me and then I’ll know everything I need to know about you. MaryAnn or Ginger?

  13. As the single men on the island were apparently all gay, Ginger and MaryAnn would have necessarily had to enter into a “partnership” of convenience. They were not lesbians mind you, but simply playing the hand dealt them. A healthy heterosexual male such as myself wondering into their presence would have been enthusiastically welcomed into their hut I am sure in order to satisfy their long repressed need for male companionship, and choosing between the two would have been a moot point as they both would have immediately ravaged me.

    In my current state of aging disgustingness however, they more than likely would have elected to keep their relationship monosexual in nature, and I probably would have chosen neither and instead settled for one of MaryAnn’s coconut cream pies and a nap.

  14. I woulda been at Mary Ann’s coconuts and down with her cream pie. Then a nap. On the couch. To give the poor babe a chance to rest.

  15. WTF are you thinking? Sleep in the boat, man!

  16. Money.

    Take an equal amount of money to what you spent on the new boat and go to your wife and say, “here, I’ve been saving this for you.”

  17. Equal is not enough for a woman. She must receive a good deal more than equal in order for it to be…fair.

  18. Maybe that explains the tendency of women to statistically favor the democratic party Andy.

    Perhaps you could float me a loan Allen. My available funds are currently tied up in maritime futures.

  19. EXCUSE ME????? Last time I check I was a female and I’ve yet to find any reason to favor the democratic party. They do not represent my values.

    Now I can see plainly why you are in the dog house so often.

  20. Uh Rita, he did say “tendency” and “statistically.”

    I’m dealing with two women on a constant basis now…pretty sure pigs will fly before either one of them support the democrat party, either. But the skew is still there.

    More reading on this fun, fun subject over here.

  21. I said statistically Rita. Polls have shown that women lean democratic in greater number than their male counterparts. You are obviously a woman of great quality and rare insight as are all of my female readers, with the exception of my mother and sister and law who while women of high quality, lack basic levels of insight as they misunderstand the definition of a liberal. A true liberal can never associate themselves with the democratic party as it now exists.

    As for being in the dog house; If a man is not pissing his woman off on a regular basis he is more than likely a progressive metrosexual or a liar, neither of which I am interested in being.

  22. I’ll concede your point about the “tendency” of females leaning toward the party of democrats. I would generalize those women also being shallow enough to fall for the “You are obviously a woman of great quality and rare insight”.

    Being honest for just a sec though. I get such a kick out of your posts and your “manly” commenters. Rarely do you find such a dialogue where everyone realizes the great gender debate is purely sport.

    In case you hadn’t noticed, I enjoy a good smart ass debate, and it’s “statistically” women that can’t handle a good well placed insult and not pout or even worse cry.

    Keep ’em comin’ boys. I can give as good as I can take.

  23. It is all purely for sport Rita. I would hazard to guess that all of the men who comment here treat the women in their lives with the utmost deference and respect. Except, you know….when they are sneaking around buying boats without their permission. You are of course able to discern this due to your being a woman of great quality and rare insight.

    Can’t blame a guy for trying to slip one by you. 😉

  24. You don’t have a Foul-up Fund? Talk about working the high wire without a net. Insanity always will strike, so in a way you have to plan for it. Figure out something she wants and set aside money for it. When she asks about it, “it’s for a surprise.” That is both literally and figuratively true as you won’t have any idea where your next bit of insanity might take you.

    So when it strikes and she’s on you, out comes the Foul-up Fund, “dear, you know that dive trip you wanted to take, well, I’ve finally saved up for it.” Sure you spent money on something for yourself, but you also set-aside something just for her. What’s she going to say? Probably something like “you’re a nut but you’re my nut.” Safe at home plate.

  25. I dunno Allen, sounds a little like buying flowers for your girl after she discovers you cheating on her. I don’t think it’ll fly.

  26. Don’t know if anyone’s still following this thread, but I had this sent to me today and it seems apropos:


    In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
    happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she
    dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing
    something she expects to be automatic. Sorry, that’s the way the game
    is played. Here is a guide to the point system:

    you make the bed (+1)
    you make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
    you throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
    you go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
    but return with beer (-5)
    you check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
    you check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
    you check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
    you pummel it with iron rod (+10)
    it’s her cat (-20)

    you stay by her side the entire party (0)
    you stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old
    school friend (-2)
    named Tina (-10)
    Tina is a dancer (-20)
    Tina has silicone implants (-80)

    you take her out to dinner (+2)
    you take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+3)
    okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
    and it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)
    it’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and team colors are
    painted somewhere on your body (-10)

    you take her to a movie (+1)
    you take her to a movie she likes (+3)
    you take her to a movie you hate (+6)
    you take her to a movie you like (-2)
    it’s called Death Cop (-3)
    you lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

    you develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
    you develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
    you develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
    Hawaiian shirts (-30)
    you say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

    she asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5)
    you hesitate in responding (-10)
    you reply, “Where?” (-35)
    any other response (-20) (yes, you lose points no matter what)

    when she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
    looks like a concerned expression (0)
    you listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
    you listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
    she realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

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