Yesterday I was admonished by my wife, again, for that which no man should ever again express shame or contrition. I am speaking of course of the single greatest indicator of the Neanderthal like nature of men, the leaving of the toilet lid in the up position. Somewhere, somehow, it has been determined that not only are we men responsible for lifting the lid prior to our use of the facilities, which is only fair, but that we are also to be held accountable for carefully preparing and staging the area in question for the next user. I can’t think of any other area in which women will so doggedly defend their right to behave as clueless bimbo’s, unwilling or unable to perform a task in reverse that we men accomplish reflexively in lifting the seat numerous times daily.
Try and imagine girls, the conclusions we men might reach if upon using an automobile women consistently and unanimously complained that after use of the car by the men in their lives, they just couldn’t figure out how to reach the gas and brake pedals upon inserting themselves in the driver’s seat. If rather than simply adjusting the seat and getting on with their day, they made a sport out of using this as an example of the basic mental inferiority and savagery of the human male. Feels good! Of course from our perspective we would be thinking, if the shiny buttons controlling the seat are too confusing for you, or if you are too scatter-brained to remember to check and adjust the seat position as necessary, why don’t you just say so and in the interests of chivalry toward such delicate blossoms we will gladly accommodate your lack of problem solving skills. I might add that the operation of a toilet seat, while quite a bit simpler to operate than the seat controls on your average automobile, still seems to elude the grasp of the supposedly superior female mind. Just sayin’.
I’ll make you a deal. If you women will embrace the concept of personal responsibility in this most basic area of what might be considered the most personal of your daily business, we men will stop thinking that maybe the 19th amendment to the US Constitution was a well intentioned mistake.