Investment Opportunity

Swamp people. Swamp Brother’s. Swamp Logger’s. I don’t pretend to understand the current craze for bog related activity in the reality TeeVee world, but I intend to capitalize on it while it lasts. While the more famous Terducken (a Chicken, in a Duck, in a Turkey) perhaps sounds tastier, I think that America is ready to sample a more provincially challenging dish of swamp culture than three layers of boiled and plucked fowl.

To the gastronomically adventurous I present…The Armipossupher! An Armadillo, stuffed with a Possum, that is in turn infused with a Gopher. Or for the culinary layman, a Gopher…shoved into a Possum……then roughly crammed inside of an Armadillo. Either way, with the low overhead inherent in merely cruising the byways of the south and scraping my profit directly from the blacktop, it’s a cinch that this represents the dawn of the fortune and fame that has so unfairly eluded me thus far in life.

And you lucky readers are invited to financially benefit! I could have just installed a beggars can  in the side bar like most bloggers but I intend to share the bounty of my entrepreneurial spirit and acumen with those who have stuck by and suffered through the alcohol fueled rants and reflections in this space over the past two years. All “venture capital” will be indirectly and untransparently invested into offshore business accounts, with the exception of an undisclosed percentage which will go to my personal Bourbon kitty research and development team. What are you waiting for! The folks who bucked that inner voice of reason and logic and invested money in a fried chicken recipe concocted by an obviously insane Confederate “Colonel” in a white suit and string tie are now fartin’ through silk underwear.

Bon Apetit’ and congratulations for not succumbing to the conventional wisdom regarding sound business and investment instincts!

Now, excuse me while I retire to the research and development facilities.


3 responses to “Investment Opportunity

  1. You try it first.

  2. Hm. I don’t have a recipe for that, so you are probably onto something unique.

    I do have a Treasury of White Trash Cooking that tells you how to fatten a possum before cooking it, though. It’s a hoot of a cookbook.

  3. The conventional wisdom on fattening a possum for maximum table flavor is to feed it for a week prior to the kill on a combination of waste corn mash from a still and Slim Jim’s.

    A progressively humane slaughter is encouraged, preferably by mimicking the most common form of natural possum death in tossing the chubby marsupial under the wheels of a passing semi during the early morning hours. If timed right, this also serves to clean the carcass of any entrails, unless of course you prefer your possum old school with all innards intact.

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