A truly progressive idea

I’ve got an idea.

It seems that the urge to give the shirt off the other guys back in the interests of social justice and displaying compassion for the little guy is one that is not going to go away anytime soon. To those without, and for too many of those who have some, but not quite enough to maybe pass on the fifty inch flat screen or new smart phone and voluntarily help out those a bit less fortunate than themselves through their favorite charity or what not, social justice is simply a matter of getting those fat cat rich bastards to pony up a little bit more of their filthy lucre. They’ve  got plenty. And besides, just because the guy who owns the company puts in eighty hour weeks, that doesn’t make him so special. He promoted that brown nose who’s always staying late and working weekends but damn it I’ve got a life to live. I’ll be damned if I’ll spend it feathering his nest. The way I look at it, he owes me that big screen. And maybe some health insurance too. So fork it over Mr. fat cat rich dude. I’ve got it coming.

Since it’s been established that this kind of thinking is not likely to go away, what we have to do is simply redefine what it is to be wealthy. To the people who choose not to take the ambitious path in life, to those who take the European view that leisure time and taking it easy are the true measure of a rich life, I say that you are absolutely right. Wealth should not be determined by how much money or how many things I have accumulated, but rather by how happy I am. How in tune I am with nature and my environment. How in balance and holistic my life is as a whole. Money and things are over rated. As long as I feel good about myself I shall be content….and wealthy in the truest sense of the word.


OK…are you guys still with me? Good. Once we convince them completely that feeling good is the goal of life and that leisure is the new money…we start taxing it. Anyone working less than eighty hours a week will be forced to split the difference with the hours that they are putting in and subsidize the hard working for those hours. I mean let’s be reasonable here. At a certain point, I think that you have accumulated enough free time. It’s a good idea I think to spread the wealth around. In fact I think that if by choice you are not working at all, you should be forced by the government to labor at the businessman’s company for a full forty hour week free of charge. It’s hardly fair that the businessman has to work eighty hours a week, time that could be spent drinking beer and watching American Idol, while you slackers monopolize all of the free time. I’m only asking that you contribute your fair share. And by fair I mean re-allocating however much leisure time that I determine you have too much of. In fact I don’t think it would be unreasonable for the top five percent of those with the fewest working hours to be forced to subsidize completely the labor of the fifty percent who put in the most. After all, you’ve got plenty of leisure time. More than you need really. And you owe me. So fork it over Mr. fat cat slacker. I’ve got it coming.


13 responses to “A truly progressive idea

  1. This is simply brilliant!

    More slack, less hack.

  2. Pingback: Leisure: The New Wealth. | Primordial Slack

  3. Workaholics Anonymous just called. They claim this is little more then an enabling for all the workaholics out there. Once they realize they can work massive amounts of hours AND then be given “time off for good behavior”, while the slackers pick up the slack for awhile …. well, there will be no stopping them from continuing their lifestyles. How are we supposed to cultivate new members to the ranks of slackers (or even slacker “wanna-bes”) if they (the slackers) are at long last, being held accountable for their lifestyle choice?
    *removes tongue from cheek*
    Great post!

  4. Damn the driven and ambitious! Now they want our slack!! Will they stop at nothing.

  5. FINALLY. I always knew I was doing something wrong by working my entire life and now it’s clear. I’m the downtrodden poor slob that demands my entitlement to those rich slackers with spare time. I WANT MINE!

  6. If the slack poor want their fair share Rita, they’re going to have to unionize. Once the dues start rolling in I’m sure some politician will take note and champion the cause. Let’s do it for the children!

  7. Oh Hell yes! A union is the E-ticket ride to sweet sinecure!

  8. I was a Teamster for a number of years in my younger days so I am familiar with the union mentality. For the most part the workers were just regular guys trying to get what they could at contract time, but the unions convinced us that we were entitled to these high wages and outstanding benefits ( the equivalent of about 150K per year in today’s dollars) for what was basically semi-skilled labor. We wouldn’t give an inch when management types tried to take even a penny’s worth away from us.”

    Worked great right up until the day that they closed the plant and parted it out while we were on strike for more…more…more.

  9. Heh. So to continue the example, if we strike for more and more slack time, then we achieve our goals for . . . wait, what?

  10. Union. Great IDEA! I say we become the Founding Union Thugs that demand our free time from the overabundent bums. Since we’re the founding members, we won’t even have to pay dues, make the latecomers pay all the dues.

    What could go wrong? You are a GENIUS Sir, a complete Genius. I would bow to you, but then I’d look a little too much like….well, I think you could guess that answer.

    Time to visit

  11. ooops, left off the last part.

    Time to visit DC, enmasse.

  12. Pingback: House of Eratosthenes

  13. Love, love, love it!!!!!!!! You are a brilliant!!

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