California Dreamin’

From blogger friend Morgan, a little story for my very liberal relatives residing in Arizona as to why following the example of their larger neighbor to the west might not be such a good idea.

The original link used New York as a comparison…but you get the gist. Both states are in a race toward fiscal insolvency.

California

The Governor Elect of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor, and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi”, then realizes he should stop, the coyote is only doing what’s natural.

2. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for disease.

4. The Governor goes to a hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for disease from the coyote and for getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months, while Fish & Game conducts their $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor next spends $150,000 in state funds, implementing a “Coyote Awareness” program for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease, throughout the world.

8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not somehow stopping the attack and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: The Nature of Coyotes.

10. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files suit against the state.

Arizona

The Governor of Arizona is jogging, with her dog, along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.

The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow-point cartridge.

2. Arizona buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke!!!

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7 responses to “California Dreamin’

  1. Thanks for the link. I like to think the original version of this actually said “California” the way you have it…since, how many coyotes are there in New York anyway?

  2. We have them here in PA, too. We voted most of them out of office, though.

  3. The governor of Arizona would never be jogging with her dog. It might mess up her 1963 bee-hive hairdo.

  4. You’ve seen my house. I have no problem with 1963 style.

  5. But do you have a problem with a 1963 Bee-Hive do that’s been messed up?

  6. A 1963 bee-hive that is done properly can’t be messed up. Aqua-net has more tensile strength per square inch than structural steel.

  7. And it won’t let your hair melt like steel if ignited by burning jet fuel.

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