A friend of ours threw a Halloween bash Saturday night and she really went all out. Smoke machines, scary decorations galore, two days worth of cooking and preparing that even included a pair of coffins that she constructed by hand from old pallet boards. Martha Stewart would have retired from public life in shame had she seen the lengths gone to in turning this home into a Day of the Dead set piece. She sent out around eighty invitations and sixty responded with a positive rsvp. That is to say, they indicated by phone, email, or in writing, that they would in fact be attending.
Ten people showed up.
Perhaps people have somehow lost the nuance of just what an rsvp is and why it might be important to the host in planning such an event. Not only did the party wrap up early, I mean who really wants to hang around at a party staring at four couples that you don’t know dressed in rented vampire costumes, but our friend was left holding about a thousand bucks worth of leftover food and booze even after she loaded up the ten of us who showed with bags and bottles to take home.
Or maybe people are just assholes.
If I had thrown a party and been subject to this lack of the most common of courtesies, I like to think I would have tracked down each and every one of those lazy, thoughtless dip shits and presented them with a time honored Halloween tradition from my youth. The Flaming Bag ‘o’ Dog Shit. Rather than lighting it on their door step, ringing the bell, and running off behind a shrub to witness the stomping out of the fire and the resulting hilarity of the homeowner tracking feces onto their white carpet however, I would pound on the door with both fists until they opened up and then hurled the shit, sans bag or fire, onto the first interior wall that presented itself, expressing loudly for all the neighbors to hear my sincere thanks in doing their small part in helping to make an event weeks in the planning an EPIC FAIL!
What the hell is wrong with people!?