Monthly Archives: October 2009

This can’t be right…

I guess this is what passes for expert problem solving these days in D.C.

If I understand correctly, which I probably don’t as I’m one of those moronic right wing slack jaws you’ve been reading about in our media outlets,  Senator Chris “Friends of Angelo” Dodd, the man in charge of the Senate Finance committee, has proposed as a solution to the housing crisis that the $8,000 first time home buyers credit due to expire this month be extended until next summer and loosened up a bit from people making less than 75K annually to those making under 300K per year.  Bear with me here as it’s hard to type with my fingers in my mouth, but doling out taxpayer dollars with one hand to keep home prices artificially high so existing homeowners won’t lose equity, while at the same time the other hand is doling out those same dollars to encourage first time homeowners into these high priced homes that very recent history indicates they can’t afford seems ill advised and reminds me more than a little of the guy on the old Ed Sullivan show who used to spin plates on dowels.

To review: Keep home prices high, and if you can’t quite afford the down payment we’ll just take a little out of the pockets of the dwindling supply of citizens who actually pay taxes to make up the difference. Might as well help them with the payments while we’re at it. It’s only fair. 

 As I recall that guy on Sullivan managed to keep the plates spinning.  I have a feeling Dodd’s act will turn out more like this one.

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Bread & Circuses

decadence

While our elected representatives work ever more diligently to provide the free bread that the culturally anesthetized citizens of the modern day Rome demand, our “artists” continue to ensure that those citizens indeed remain dead meat from the neck up.

I saw an advertisement for this play at a local theater on the tube the other day that left me feeling like I imagine a fish must feel when yanked from the water and tossed on a hot sidewalk. Look, I don’t have anything against penis’ whether in practice or in principle. The “Johnson” is a perfectly ordinary “member in good standing” so to speak in the club of mammalian anatomy. They are however in my mind useful for two things and two things only. Pissing while standing, and fucking. Standing or otherwise. When the good citizens of the modern day Rome will pay good folding money to fill a theater for the opportunity to spend two hours watching naked actors…

“display their unusual natural abilities in the ancient Australian art of genital origami to hundreds of speechless audience members. Requiring amazing concentration, astonishing stamina,an unbelievable stretch factor and a remarkable level of testicular fortitude, this show leaves women and men gasping at over forty heroic and hilarious installations including The Pelican,  The Windsurfer, The Eiffel Tower, The Loch Ness Monster, and their signature installation, The Hamburger. A video camera projects intimate details of the installations onto a large screen ensuring little can be missed – even from the very back row!” 

I must admit I am a bit curious of what their “signature installation” might entail in an engineering sense, but when people willingly will trek downtown, struggle for parking, walk to the show house  in the driving rain, all in the service of observing the “heroic and hilarious” act of watching grown men play with themselves, well, I don’t have to see the show to be rendered speechless.

I’m currently away from my desk…

empty desk

Apologies to reader(s) for my lack of posts lately. Trying to keep the house in show ready condition with eight dogs, five cats, and two teenagers  conspiring against me has been a bit more daunting than I had originally figured. To top it off the wife with her keen sense of timing has elected to ditch me for a ten day trip to Venice and Tuscany in the middle of it all. I hope to be back providing my usual rich content of mediocre BS when things return to normal.

Stacy McCain’s “rule number 5”  will be in effect until then.

“My Baloney has a first name”…

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

wiener

I’m on board with that.

From the highly readable Autumn People.

Westsoundmodern…Master of disguise.

xpress_disguise

I have a record executive and a movie producer both coming up from LA next week to look at my place for sale so I’ll be busy plastering “Free Polanski” bumper stickers over the Bush ’04 ones and otherwise scrubbing my pad of anything that might tip them off as to my rabid rightwingfascistracisthomoislamophobic tendancies.

Any ideas from you readers on how to further assure these potential buyers that I am one of “them” would be greatly appreciated.

Get your fucking hand off me…

There isn’t much that Nancita does that I find funny but for some reason this made me laugh out loud this morning.

That is one cold bitch.

Video via Belmont Club

Smoke Up Johnny!

smoker

So…after what doctors called a “palsey” (it was a stroke) in a small vein behind my left eye a few months back caused me to go cross eyed for two weeks, I’ve taken up smoking again after 15 years. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can’t wait for my liver to show signs of swelling so I can up my alcohol consumption.