So…my 13 year old says he wants to go to the movies today and I say “Sure, what do you want to see?” “The Goods” looked pretty funny in the previews he tells me so I checked it out and it looked like your typical lowbrow teen fare. Fart jokes, some mildly foul language, a little T&A, starring Jeremy Piven, James Mr. Barbra Streisand Brolin, Will Ferill, douchebags all as far as I’m concerned but I figured what the heck, I can sit through it. How bad could it be.
Well the movies out and I feel like I’ve just been held down for two hours and repeatedly violated with a feed store dry cob. I’ve seen some shitty movies before, but Jesus Christ on a pogo stick how can the people who produced and acted in this “film” show their faces in the daylight. The recent crop of movies catering to the lowest possible denominator starring actors like Will Ferill, Jack Black, Adam Sandler, are for the most part so grossly lacking in anything that might be called competent film making that I feel like I’m being punked by forking over eight bucks a ticket to suffer through them. Due to the fact that I have a couple of teenage boys I’ve seen numerous offerings from these so called comedians and with a few rare exceptions they’re just not funny. Unless, you know, being annoying, obnoxious, and obsessed with farts, boobs, and poop is the new funny. It’s not that I don’t understand that teenage boys will find this sort of thing amusing, I certainly did at their age, it’s just that unlike some of the genre in previous times there is absolutly no supporting wit or creativity involved at all in either the performances or particularly in the writing. There is no respect at all for the audience. Like most of the garbage coming out of Hollywood these days it’s all a big inside joke shared by the film makers and their like minded friends. Farts, boobs, and poop are just supposed to be hilarious in their own right I guess and if you don’t get it, well, you can just go fuck yourself seems to be the prevailing attitude of this new breed of teen movies.
A festering pox on them all I say. In case I was unclear, a big two thumbs down on this turd sandwich.