Welcome to the future:


This weekend I caught a glimpse into our future as dictated by the do-gooders and never satisfied re-inventors of the mousetrap who have nothing better to do with their time apparently than to make our lives incrementally more difficult.

Taking up where Jaded Haven left off last week with a fine rant against dish washing detergents that don’t actually, you know, clean the dishes, I would like to add my two cents regarding a weekend purchase from those fine folks at our local warehouse home repair/ hardware supply outlet which shall, to avoid any liability on my part in the event any of you readers take it upon yourselves to exact revenge on my behalf, remain nameless.

I found my self in need of a five gallon gas can and, naively it turns out, grabbed the first one I saw on the shelf. Upon getting it to the gas station to fill I noticed that the cap, in addition to being a little more highly engineered than what I had previously thought nessescary on these cans, was strapped to the container with the usual assortment of  multiple unbreakable twist and zip ties that seem to have appeared on virtually everything we purchase over the past ten years or so. I had left my pocket knife at home so I went about the task of freeing the cap/ filler hose from its bondage by carefully and calmly twisting said ties back and forth in the attempt to break them loose. About 10 minutes later, after multiple failed attempts to twist, bite, pull, scrape on pavement the ties free, I finally succeeded in getting part of the cap off only to watch in fury as the flexible filler neck dropped into the can. Cutting loose with a string of obscenities that only someone who has spent a number of years working on offshore oil rigs can appreciate, I hurled the can into the back of my pickup and maniacally drove back to my place where I could continue my Lou Ferrigno like transformation into a raging idiot without my neighbors witness.

Take a look at these two pictures and tell me what I am missing here. Which is more likely to get gas from tank A to receptacle B most efficiently and with the least chance of raising my blood pressure to unsustainable levels?









WHY. WHY! WHY?!! do they do this to us?


12 responses to “Welcome to the future:

  1. They do because they love us. Because they know better than all us little peoples what is good for us. It’s for our own good, doncha know. A brave new world – don’t you feel protected and warm?

    And if they let us continue using what has worked for decades, they’d never sell new stuff.

  2. Can’t wait to see how they re-engineer something like a shoe horn or a table spoon.
    Wait!… that gives me an idea! A shoehorn that is a table spoon!

  3. Pft. Shoe horn. What are you doing? Asking to be whisked away for “enlightenment?” A need for a shoe horn would indicate you are wearing shoes that aren’t flip flops or man-sandals. Something you can slide easily into without hurting yourself. It’s for the children.

  4. They do it because someone once spilled gas on their shoe and successfully sued the manufacturer for “pain and suffering”.

    Crap like this is invented to keep the stupid people from getting hurt or killed. I’ve long believed that the existence of OSHA has diluted the gene pool. Back in the day, the stupid were killed off due to their own negligence. Now we keep them alive with rules and safety devices.

  5. “They” do this to “us” because they can and because “they” are drooling morons with government jobs.

  6. “drooling morons with government jobs”.
    Soon to be 51% of registered voters?
    Californee here we come!

  7. It’s going to be interesting to see how Californians react when their state starts cutting services drastically. They said hell no to more taxes but given that 51% moron dynamic, they will probably come whining back to big government with their tails between their legs.
    I hope they surprise me.

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